Santa Banta: Admin Specials

[Administrator]

Santa as the Railway Driver

One train which was going peacefully on the rail-tracks suddenly deviated from the tracks and went to the fields nearby and then came back on the tracks. The passengers were horrified. On the next Railway station the driver was caught : He was found to be Santa . He was questioned. He explained that there was a man standing on the tracks and he was not moving from there even after lots of honks etc. Then authorities questioned: Santa are you mad! just to save life of one person you put life of so many passengers under danger. You should have overran that person. Santa said: Exactly, that is what I also decided, but this idiot started running towards the field when the train came very close

Banta Wins Lottery

Banta buys a ticket and wins the lottery. He goes to Delhi to claim it and the man verifies his ticket number. Banta says, "I want my 20 lakhs. The man replied, "No, sir. It doesn't work that way. We give you one lakh today and then you'll get the rest spread out for the next 19 weeks. “Then Banta said, "Oh, no. I want all my money right now! I won it and I want it." Again, the man explained that he would only get a lakh that day and the rest during the next 19 weeks. Banta, furious with the man, screams out, "Look, I want my money! If you're not going to give me my 20 lakhs right now, then I want my five rupees back!"

[Administrator]

Santa Swarg Mein!

Santa died and went to heaven. When he got to the pearly gate, gatekeeper Banta told him that new rules were in effect due to the advances in education on earth. In order to gain admittance a prospective heavenly soul must answer two questions: 1. Name two days of the week that begin with "T". 2. How many seconds are there in a year? The Santa thought for a few minutes and answered... 1. The two days of the week that begin with "T" are Today and Tomorrow. 2. There are 12 seconds in a year. Saint Peter said, "OK, I'll buy the Today and Tomorrow, even though it's not the answer I expected, so your answer is correct. But how did you get only 12 seconds in a year?" Santa replied, "Well, January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, etc...." Saint Peter lets him in without another word.



Banta to Sunita: "I want to marry you " Sunita: "But I am one year elder to you."!
Banta: "No Problem, then I will marry you next year."



Santa and Banta went into a pub and after ordering two beers took some sandwiches out of their pockets and started to eat them. "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here," complained the pub-owner. So they swapped (exchanged) their sandwiches.

[Administrator]

Once upon a time, Santa saw a boy who wore his cap in the back direction. This event really harassed the social nature of Santa and then he also decided to wear his pagari in the backward direction . While he was on his way to his office Banta saw him and asked "Oye Santeya, aa riha hai ke jaa riha hai"


Banta Singh was very fond of sensational and detective novels, but he always started reading from the middle. Santa asked, “Why he did so?" “It'z doubly interesting", said Banta. "TO start from the middle keeps one curious not only about its conclusion but also about its beginning!”

Once Santa Singh was going to his office. On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt. Next day, on his way to the office, he noticed a banana peel and exclaimed "ki seyapa ee yaar, ajj fer fisalna pavegaa!". Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and exclaimed "Waah beere, changa ee, ajj te choice vee hai!

[Administrator]

"Help.... the Titanic is going to be drowned...." Everybody in the ship is shouting, crying, running or praying to God... Just then an Italian asks the nearby Santa Singh in the ship. Italian: How far is land, from here Santa ji: Two miles.. Italian: Only two miles, Then why are these fools making noise. I have got the experience of swimming even more. The Italian jumps off the ship into the sea and comes up to the layer to ask something again. Italian: Just tell me which side, is land two miles from here ? Santa Singh: Downwards!

Santa Singh khaali karahi aag pe rakh ke usmein karhchhi maarta jaa raha tha hila hila ke fer raha tha… bante ne usko dekh liya aur bahut hairaan pareshaan hua, aakhirkaar Bante ne poochh hi liya, Oye Santeya, ki banayi ja riha hai enni der daa? Banta bola: “ FUDDU! ”



A passerby watched Santa and Banta in a park. Santa was digging holes and Banta was immediately filling them in again. Tell me, said the passerby, 'What on earth are you doing?' Well,' said Santa, 'Usually there are three of us. I dig the hole, Billo plants the tree saplings and Banta fills in the hole. Today Billo is off ill, but that doesn't mean Banta and I get the day off, does it?



Banta Singh rushed back angrily to the grocery shop from where he had purchased a packet of butter a few minutes ago. "Where is my free gift?" he shouted at the shopkeeper. "But Sir, there is no free gift on the purchase of butter." The shopkeeper answered politely. "Don't fool me," replied Banta, "it is clearly written on the packet of the butter 'Cholesterol free'.



One day Santa Singh was home and he went to the kitchen, opened the Sugar bottle, peeped inside and closed it. His wife was seeing this. After some time Santa again went to the kitchen, opened the Sugar Bottle, peeped inside and closed it. His wife again saw this. Santa Singh again and again did the same thing. His wife was puzzled at why did he do something like this... So, she asked Santa, 'Why did you open the Sugar bottle, see inside and close it often?' Santa Singh replied, 'I am a Sugar Patient you know.... Our doctor advised me to check up the Sugar often'.



Santa: Nurse, I am very eager to know my blood group.

Nurse: B positive

Santa: please tell me soon ....

Nurse: B positive

Santa: Madam, I am positive! But eager to know the blood my group.

[Administrator]

Santa Singh Olympics mein! Santa Singh ek baar olympics pahuch gaye... 10000m ka final shuru ho gaya aur 24 khilaadi daudne lage, Sante ne paas baithe Bante se poochha, "Yaar eh saare enni tej tej kithe pajji jaa rihe ne?" Banta bola: "Yaar jera jittuga, usnu prize milugaa" Santa: Bevkoofa, uh te theek hai, but baaki saare kyu pajj rihe ne?


Santa: I was born in Punjab.
Banta: Oh really, which part?
Santa: All of me! Silly

Santa: How can you fit 30 marwaaris in a Maruti 800?
Banta: Simple, Throw a 100 rupee note inside!