SYSTEM

Net g@ins
Priya Gill June 27, 2008

It’s a quiet Friday night. A brain infected by boredom is drawn to the glaring bright computer screen and with one simple click connects to the Internet.



After checking e-mail and perusing various sites on the latest movies, Bollywood gossip and world news, a lonely youngster, looking for some excitement and adventure, stumbles upon a rather unusual site. It is by no means for the conservative, and invites those who want to take a walk on the wild side—the only condition is you must be single and you must be a Punjabi!

The Internet has now been inundated with dating sites targeted at Punjabis. Sites like Ludhianasingles. com, lovechandigarh.com, punjabisingles.com, punjabiindian-dating.shaadicrowd. com and kamaconnection. com, and others promise to help you find that special someone.

Passionate Punjabi youngsters positioned all across the state and even around the world are utilising these sites to connect with people for dating or a long term relationship.

The number of techsavvy Punjabi singles ready to mingle online is increasing by the day. For instance, Lovechandigarh. com already has over 21,000 members and punjabisingles. com has over 1,100 male members and nearly 700 female members and counting.

Yvonne Rice, an Australian expert in the world of online dating and author of two books on the subject, thinks internet dating is a natural progression from the use of matrimonial sites for Punjabis.

“Matrimonial sites have long existed in India, so meeting people through internet dating sites is really just the next step,” she says. The expert predicts that within the next two to three years, the trend will rapidly rise and the Internet will be saturated with such sites tailormade for Punjabis.

“Punjabis all over the world are exploring dating sites in leaps and bounds. These sites allow young Punjabis, who are very career-orientated, the opportunity to link up with others and find someone on their own,” she says, adding that online dating is most common amongst Punjabis aged between 18 and 27, and generally more males than females are actively involved in surfing for a mate.

And what should a future online dater include in their profile? “Honesty is the most important thing,” says Rice. Be realistic about who you are and what you like.

The same goes for your photograph. If you are posting a photo, it should be current, not more than six months old. Remember to be polite and positive and don’t write too much.

Chandigarh-based psychologist Rajshree Sarda believes online dating is a rising trend in urban Punjab. “People in Ludhiana, Amritsar, Jalandhar and Chandigarh are into making friends on the net and finding matches.

Ever since the net became cheap and accessible in Punjab a few years back, it has become popular,” says Sarda. She believes Punjabis are attracted towards internet dating because they are adventurous people and like to explore.

“The excitement and thrill of meeting new people is enticing for them,” she says. As long as it’s a recreation within limits, Sarda feels meeting people online is okay. However, she believes that it’s best not to reveal your entire identity too soon, to a person you’ve never met before and it’s best to not disclose information that is too personal or private.

“If you do decide to meet, make sure it is in a crowded coffee shop during the day and do remember to inform your family and friends of your whereabouts. Carry your mobile phone, be decently dressed, do not consume alcohol on your first meeting, and do not meet at night,” she cautions.

Internet dating is not solely restricted to Punjabis within India; there are thousands across the globe who are in sync with the trend.

Kamaconnection is specifically aimed at Indians living abroad and its Punjabi version caters to those Internet savvy youngsters who are based in the US, UK, Canada, Germany, Australia and Dubai.

A 24-yearold Sikh Punjabi female from London with a profile on this site says she discovered the site while surfing the net. “I have never really done anything like this before, but as they say, there is always a first time for everything.”

A 23-year-old single girl from Montreal is using the site to heal past wounds. On her profile she writes, “Hi, I’m new to this. I have had really messed up experiences with men in the past…it seems like it will be impossible to find a guy I can see myself with…prove me wrong.”
A UK national with the username, Fendigirl, 27, is a “fun-loving, easy going person”. “I’m looking for someone with a similar lifestyle and interests as mine, who is kind and generous in spirit, but also fun to hang out with,” she says on her profile.

A Punjabi dating site user, Inderpreet, 19, a Sikh from Amritsar, says he is searching for his soulmate. No matter what the reason may be, thousands of Punjabis around the world are logging on and trying their luck at short-lived or ever-lasting love.

Pooja, 25, a banker from Chandigarh has dabbled in online dating, due to her inability to find a decent guy at the workplace or through her friends’ circles.

Her first interaction was with a Jatt Sikh boy, 24, from Amritsar who saw her profile online and expressed his interest by sending her a romantic message laced with the lyrics of a poignant Punjabi love song.

After about 20 days of online correspondence, they exchanged telephone numbers. “We kept in touch for eight months before meeting. He came with his friends to Chandigarh to meet me so I also called a few friends and we all went for lunch together. After another meeting, we realised we weren’t meant to be together as a couple and decided to just be friends,” she says.

Battling with destiny, Pooja once again called upon lady luck and logged onto the net, looking for Mr Right. She thought her search had come to an end when she stumbled upon an extremely eligible 27-year-old, online.

“He was sweet, sincere, and well-qualified and we had a lot in common.” After messaging online daily for a month, they began conversing over the phone and then several months later, finally felt ready to meet face-to-face.




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“I went with a friend to meet my online lover for coffee. I found him to be just as sophisticated and courteous as he was online and I was taken by his caring nature so I decided to meet him again,” says Pooja.

After six months of further interaction, things turned serious for the online pair and their love affair prevailed until February this year, when the parents stepped in. “We fell deeply in love and wanted to get married, but his family would not agree, since he is of a different caste. We eventually broke up and went our separate ways,” remembers Pooja.

A year and a half ago, virtual cupid struck Vikram, 21, a student from Ludhiana, and he has been in seventh heaven ever since. “I met a girl online, we exchanged numbers, developed a liking for each other and then met in person. Before I knew what hit me, I was love struck and we are now inseparable,” he says.

Despite popular belief fuelled by the mainstream film industry, not all Indians dream of running around trees with their loved ones. Eternal romance, rose buds and walking hand-in-hand into the sunset hold no charm for several netdaters.

Take, for instance, self-proclaimed internet dater Harmohan Singh, 26, a businessman from Chandigarh, who experimented with net dating for sheer entertainment and to spice up his life. He was once a regular on lovechandigarh.com where he interacted with numerous bold bachelorettes. “I have dated many Punjabi girls who I met online,” he confesses.

“They are very open and like guys with a good attitude and who can talk well,” says Harmohan, who believes it is less threatening to interact with girls online, compared to meeting them in person. “It is safer to propose to a girl online because if she says no, it doesn’t hurt as it is not on your face,” he says.
Harmohan’s online dating protocol is simple and straight to the point. “First you see their photo and then visit their profile and read what they have to offer.

If they sound interesting, you send them a message and take it from there,” he says. Generally he meets girls for coffee on the first date.
“A café is an ideal venue for a first meeting as the atmosphere is relaxed and casual and there are a number of other people around.

Fancy restaurants are more intimate, putting added pressure on both daters,” says Harmohan. He is quick to decipher the chemistry level between him and his date.
“I know in the first five minutes of our meeting if she is someone I want to pursue or not. The girl may not be very good looking, but if she has a good mind and is interesting, then it hardly matters,” he says.

Simerjit Singh, 25, who manages his own company in Chandigarh, indulged in online dating because of his love for meeting different people and making new friends.
“I found some amazing girls on a few internet dating sites, but there was one girl who really stood out. This girl was incredible. We had similar ideas and thinking and plenty in common,” he says.

After talking online for a couple of days, they progressed to the phone and then met after four days of contact. “When we met, it was a mutual attraction. I fell for her gorgeous blue eyes,” says Simerjit.

Their first meeting was a lunch date where they “instantly clicked” and talked about their past relationships and what they wanted in life.
After dating for a year, they were forced to break up since her parents were ready to marry her off. “If things had been different, I would have definitely married her,” adds Simerjit.

Another netizen, Sanjana Sehgal, 26, a call centre employee from Chandigarh, started dating a guy she met on the Internet. They chatted online for five months, started talking on the phone thereafter, and seven months later they eventually met up in person.
“When we met, I found him to be a very sweet, simple, and honest guy, just like the impression I got of him over the net,” she says.

Even though her experience was positive, she warns other potential web-daters to proceed with caution. “Beware of fake people online, be careful, and don’t get too serious too quickly.

When you meet face to face, you may find the person to be totally different from what you expected them to be through online interactions,” she says.
The world of cyber dating offers an assortment of experiences, people and opportunities, so if you happen to be a single Punjabi ready to mingle, log on and connect, but always remember, safety first.

    Gurrry4u

Nice article...

    Taj_Dhillon

thanks dear for sharing...

    Kirat

gud gud